Step by step…

I’m still making progress with LLFF, and we’re slowly getting there. I’ve done the minor editing and rewriting work, and now I’m working on the larger parts that need rewriting. I’m trying not to add more comments while editing, so I can finish some chapters. But every time I read through my story I find another flaw that needs to be changed. So it sometimes seems like I’m not really moving forward… ^^

In the meantime, I did another attempt at translating a part into English so you could read some too… (For the other translated part, see one of my previous blogs)  I’m not entirely happy about the translation. It just works better in Dutch for me, since that’s the language it’s originally written in. But I think it will give you a nice view on the story… So here you go ^^ This excerpt is from somewhere in the middle of the story and is about two of the main characters, Lizzie and Jem. I don’t think you need much context, it’s probably clear enough this way… Enjoy!

Feel free to like, dislike, comment or criticise! =)

—————————————————————————–

The next morning, Lizzie awakes through the sound of Jem’s cell phone. She nudges Jem.

“Huh, what?” he mumbles sleepily.

“It’s your phone, darling.”

Jem quickly reaches for his phone.

“It’s an SMS. Probably from Vince.”

He reads it and then puts his cell phone back on the nightstand.

“And?” Lizzie asks.

Jem smiles.

“I’ve got the day off,” he says happily.

He turns onto his side, but quickly turns back.

“Stupid shoulder!”

“Ah, poor boy. You’ve got it bad, huh?”

Lizzie gently plants a kiss on Jem’s shoulder.

“You’re still glowing.”

“But you have nice, cold lips.”

Jem smiles. Lizzie smiles too and pinches Jem in the nose.

“Hey! What was that?”

Lizzie quickly dives under the covers. Jem’s hand reaches out and he grasps Lizzie’s arm. He sits up straight and pulls her up. A laughing Lizzie appears from under the covers.

“What was that, hey? Pinching me in the nose?”

Lizzie shrugs and leans her head against Jem’s chest. Jem smiles.

“Vince was right, I should be proud of you.”

“Vince told me to take good care of you.”

“Oh, did he? Well, take care of me then. Breakfast in bed would be nice.”

“Vince didn’t mean it that way. You know that.”

Lizzie puts her hand on Jem’s leg to push herself up.

“Man, you have cold hands!” Jem exclaims.

“It’s not that bad, is it?”

To tease Jem, she puts her hands on his belly.

“Get those cold hands off of me!”

Jem pushes Lizzie away.
“Come on. Are you a tough guy or not?”

Lizzie puts her hands in his neck.

“Stop it, Liz!”

Jem quickly removes her hands from his neck.

“And don’t you even dare…”

Lizzie gives Jem a mischievous look and ruffles his hair. Then she puts her hand on Jem’s painful shoulder.

“How about that?”

Jem nods and kisses her hand.

“Wonderful. That’s where cold hands should be.”

Jem sees that Lizzie’s other hand disappears under the covers.

“And only there…” he adds.

Lizzie takes Jem’s hand and smiles at him. Jem takes her hand in both his hands and rubs it warm.

“That feels nice,” Lizzie says, while taking her hand off Jem’s shoulder.

“Then you shouldn’t rob me of my pleasures either.”

“But my hand warmed up already, because your shoulder is so warm. We should probably cool it again later.”

“I believe it’s quite swollen as well.”

Lizzie raises herself somewhat further and looks from Jem’s one shoulder to the other

“It’s indeed swollen, but ice will bring it down.”

Jem nods.
“I hope so too, because this is quite annoying. Thanks dear!”

Lizzie remains silent and bows her head. Jem still has her hand in his hands and strokes it. He remains silent as well. It might be hard, but Lizzie has to realise what she has done, he thinks. Jem looks at her for a moment. She looks quite sad. He tenderly places his arm around her and pulls her close. With his other hand he keeps stroking her hand. Lizzie looks up at him for a second. He spots the tears in her eyes.

“Come on, darling, it’s okay. It’ll pass.”

Lizzie nods. A smile slowly appears on her face, and she wipes the tears from her eyes.

“Let’s make something to eat,” she says.
“Great idea. And then we can enjoy our day off…”

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4 thoughts on “Step by step…

  1. I’m happy to see you’re still making progress and trudging along. I always read the hardest part is before you start, just get it written and then it gets easier, that sort of thing. To me, editing seems pretty darn hard. Keep up the good work!

    Like

    • I find editing the hardest part as well. The story is in my head. I wrote it down before, but now it needs improvement… And that’s pretty darn hard indeed ^^
      Thanks for your kind words!

      Like

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